Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Extra! Extra! Drum Urges Caution!

Dull, spineless and living in Orange County is no way to go through life, son.

"Everyone wants to know how I feel about Russ Feingold's motion to censure President Bush over the NSA's domestic spying program," writes Kevin Drum.

Amy S. Christ, everybody but us. Or more accurately, we already know how you feel about it, Kevin. You feel damp and mushy about it. You feel soggy and boring about it. You feel fence-straddlingly sodden and droningly pie chartish about it.

Oh, yes you do. Because that's how you feel about any political move that requires as much daring as your granny summons up to go all-in on an extra sheet at Bingo Night.

Anyway, away you go: "I'll give you two and a half answers ..."

Okay, stop. Shut up. We'll take it from here. For fuck's sake, we're talking about censuring a president sitting at 33 percent approval on the Pew survey ... which further tells us that "[t]he single word most frequently associated with George W. Bush today is 'incompetent,' and close behind are two other increasingly mentioned descriptors: 'idiot' and 'liar.' (Hat tip to you, Drum, you oblivious, pants-pissing fuck.)

Look, more people on that survey describe Bush as "Ass" than "President". That tells us something, maybe. Like, maybe, just maybe, censuring Bush - or rather being seen to be attempting to censure Bush, because a Republican-controlled Senate would never in a million hurricane seasons actually allow it to happen - is what a whole hell of a lot of Americans want to happen. Like maybe the majority of them. Even a three-quarter majority of them.

But no. To you it smells risky. Scary stuff. Republicans might spin it so everybody thinks Feingold was really trying to enact National Noam Chomsky Day where everybody would be forced to burn American flags and gay marry or something.

Ooh, strawman (h/t The Ace). Whatever. We don't care about your long-winded, base-covering, cut-and-measured explanation for why you're yet again on the fence about an actual bold move by a Democrat. You know, your latest lame triangulation is such a half-formed shit immobilizing you on the pot, it isn't even funny. We mean, it would be funny except for the fact that you wrote it.

(Goddamn, if that doesn't get him pissed off enough to notice us, we don't know what will.)

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