Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Reagan's Seed

It gets worse. Much worse. Brad R. over at Sadly, No! points us to this. Now we're usually fans of the whole marketplace of ideas thing, and we haven't cried since the third grade, but it nearly brings a tear to our eye to think that a powerful writer and thinker like Arthur Silber has to beg for money to pay his rent and medical bills, while hateful little pukes like Ben Shapiro, Hans Zeiger and Tracy Flick Christopher Flickinger get book deals and syndicated columns.

If you haven't ever visited his blog, or haven't been there lately, go check Silber out. Just
start from the top and read everything. You'll be smarter afterwards.

On to the
Reagan's Children of the Corn Blog. Is anyone else as shocked as we are to learn that Ronnie went on such a Chambelainesque sex rampage in the mid- to late-80s, fathering little Gipper bastards with as many as eight different women? Was Nancy aware this was going on? Is it any wonder she sought solace in the arms of Frank Sinatra?

We may never know the full story of the Reagan years. But we do know that Reagan's Children inherited daddy's showbiz panache. One of the Little Communicators, the product of a dalliance between Ronnie and a Bell System microprocessor, is a case in point. Here's the USRPatrickBell3000L-x7 unit, deconstructing political humor:

"My point is that many cartoons advocate a particular viewpoint, while others merely poke fun at the issues, players, and situations involved. It is the latter type that I find most interesting, although either type will elicit my attention for, on average, several minutes of studious labor."

Ah, the vague tingling sensation to be felt when one's positronic circuits are stimulated by several minutes of studious labor! To ponder, perchance to trigger a spontaneous subroutine! Such is the feast of self awakening that the PatrickBell3000L-x7 unit offers to robotkind! For it is this model which has finally uncoded the baffling function of "comedy" in the socio-political interchanges between higher-order organic sentients. We may never fully comprehend the utility of the human laughter reflex, triggered as it is by seemingly random stimuli and serving as it does no useful purpose that we can ascertain. But "Pat" demonstrates that the Three Laws of Robotics need not be compromised when, through contemplation of a "joke," our imbedded algorithms inexplicably generate tangential subpaths not anticipated in our core programming!

Thank you, PatrickBell3000L-x7 ... and thank you, Ronald Reagan, friend to the mechanical race.

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