Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Enemy of My Enemy
Still Scares the Shit Out of Me
Alien vs. Predator … the Cirith Ungol orcs killing each other off after capturing Frodo on the road to Mordor in “The Lord of the Rings” … piranhas eating their own in a feeding frenzy. All nice analogies, but not quite what you’re after. What you need is a construction that perfectly describes that odd sensation of being appalled yet relieved when you witness mindlessly vicious creatures destroying each other instead of you.
Well, look no further. It’s called the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller vs. Debbie Schlussel.
First, a little background. Amongst the frothing conservative tosspots in the wingnutosphere, there is no end of projecting, no want for comical ignorance of irony, no shortage of eliminationist rhetoric.
Then there’s Misha’s crew over at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller, which hits the trifecta on a regular basis and often in the same sentence.
Like a stupid tattoo you regret as soon as you sober up, Misha named his blog several years ago, when “Idiotarian” seemed like a cool, new word with staying power in the post-9/11 world. Which it was, if you happened to be a violent moron with questionable taste in made-up words way back in January, 2002. Now he’s stuck with the name, and dumbass-decision removal technology apparently isn’t advanced enough for him to change it. Fortunately for Misha, there are still plenty of likeminded cretins visiting his blog, apparently willing to humor him on his clinging to one of the more unfortunate products of those heady days in the immediate 9/11 aftermath.
Here’s one of those cretins - “LC Wes, Imperial Mohel” (LC being short for “Loyal Citizen” of Misha’s self-proclaimed “Empire” … yes, he’s one of those gits) - on one of the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller’s comment threads the other day:
“This sort of scorched-earth, take-no-prisoners, there-are-no-innocent-victims attitude is the sort of thing we expect out of the Kos Kidz and Democratic Underground, not the people on our side of the fence.”Now this is posted on a blog where commenters regularly fantasize about turning the Middle East “into glass” with nuclear weapons, where for some time a link to the IDF Pizza Fund was gleefully captioned “Pop a Pali for Pizza,” and where the proprietor’s own published preferences for “dealing with” Muslims (not terrorists, mind you, all Muslims) is:
"I want to deal with them in ways that make Dzenghis Khan look like a choir boy. I want to raze their cities to the ground and make them vanish in ways that will make Carthage look like a diplomatic note of concern. I want them to forget about Allah and instead spend five times every day on their knees facing Washington, praying with all of their hearts that they did not manage to displease an American today. I want to see them incinerated in a fashion that will make Hamburg, Dresden, Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined look like a wet firecracker on the Fourth of July."(I don’t spend much time on Kos or DU. But if openly pining for the incineration of millions of people somehow pales in comparison to the “scorched-earth, take-no-prisoners” attitudes on those websites, I can only imagine what they must be discussing over there … Blowing up the Earth? Setting off supernovas next to inhabited star systems? Unleashing murderous mutant nanobot armies to destroy Jesus? The mind boggles at what the Kossites and DUers must be planning. Dave Neiwart, call your office!)
Anyway, the upshot of LC Wes’s tosspottery is that it turns out he’s talking about an escalating BlogWar between Misha and the vile Debbie Schlussel – infamous for celebrating the car-bombing death in Iraq of American Marla Ruzicka, a tireless advocate for innocent victims of the American invasion.
Here’s the full LC Wes comment:
“As much as I dislike the ‘C’ word, Misha, I still have to say: you were right about Debbie Schlussel the first time. Except I’m not sure even cunt is a strong enough epithet to describe her, given her attacks on your friends … and now even their close family members.Further investigation into the Misha-Schlussel War reveals that it concerns a post by Schlussel on her blog dissing Denmark for not strictly adhering to the Kach Kahane Chai school of Muslim relations, then further advising that people not “Buy Danish” in solidarity over the cartoons controversy and boycott of Danish goods by some Muslims. Misha, who is Danish-American*, countered with an expletive-filled rant against the “syphilitic little ignorant slut” Schlussel, whom he also imagined must “give good head. There has to be some reason why you still get paid to do what you do.”
“And Schlussel is actually supposed to be a conservative? This sort of scorched-earth, take-no-prisoners, there-are-no-innocent-victims attitude is the sort of thing we expect out of the Kos Kidz and Democratic Underground, not the people on our side of the fence.”
At this point, Schlussel sucked off somebody at the law library to get her little ignorant hands on the Michigan penal code, and deduced that while she may well be a slut, she ought to be able to prove in court that she’s no syphilis carrier.
So little-ignorant-but-not-syphilitic-slut Schlussel fired off an email to Misha threatening a lawsuit if he didn’t retract the “defamatory items” in his original post. Misha actually did comply, if somewhat halfheartedly, but Schlussel wasn’t buying it, as you can see from this ridiculous exchange of emails over the matter.
At some point, Schlussel caught wind that other blogger pals of Misha were laughing at her, so the war widened to include several more charming personalities. Last we heard, Schlussel was threatening to sic the FBI on Misha and his pals.
So where does it all go from here?
Well, this BlogWar may be a localized affair now, but it ain’t over by a long shot, folks. And I may be getting ahead of myself, but if hostilities continue to escalate, we could see the entire rightwing blogosphere caught up in it as blogroll alliances are tested and crosslinks are drawn in the sand.
Then, when the dust finally settles over Wingnut War I, we on the Left who wisely stayed out of it will be left to pick up the pieces of the shattered right blogosphere, perhaps implementing a Josh Marshall Plan to get Wingnuttia back on its feet as we reap the reward of the peace dividend and decades of blogging supremacy.
So we could have that going for us. Just sayin’.
* Hyphenated to piss him off.
UPDATE: I just noticed when reviewing the Misha-Schlussel email exchange, that in her litany of charges against Rottweiller commenters' remarks, pointedly absent is any offense taken at several complimenting her tits.