Tuesday, January 17, 2006


Required Reading

It is with some not-gay wistfulness that we bid "Adieu!" in a far more Quebecois than French-like manner to this, our first day of world-shaking posts at ParrotLine, not that there is or can ever be such a thing as a "world" to shake that is greater than the un-sum of its morally self-interested parts, which taken together are still not worth one fingernail shaving of the lowest-born American.

Still, it is time for bed, and properly so, for we have great deeds to pursue on the morrow, vile enemies to slay, and Washington Journal Support-the-President line redial buttons to push.

Traitor, Defeatist, Moonbat and Michael Moore each have different methods for learning how to fucking deal with it in Dr. John Yoo's new book.

So goodbye and goodnight; but before we leave you to study today's wisdom, here is a final little tit-bit for your troubles, an exclusive look at a triumphant new tome by our dear friend and legal advisor, Dr. John C. Yoo.

Dr. Yoo informs ParrotLine that the inspiration for this singularly unique book, so profound in its simplicity, came to him during the nadir of the Carter "presidency." Despairing over the Carterian drift in Executive Branch power, Dr. Yoo sought to soothe his fears by concocting a tale for his own amusement of two mice and two "terroristpeople" (as he delightfully terms them) confronted by a future, strong-willed and moral clarity-fied President. In the course of the story, the new President extraordinarily renders Dr. Yoo's fictional quartet to a maze-like compound in Uzbekistan, whereupon hilarity and the final defeat of evil ensue.

Years later, when this in fact happened, Yoo's friend and concubine Michelle Malkin suggested that he publish the story. And though we can't give away the rest of plot, we can predict that "Who Moved My Civil Liberties" will outsell the Bible, and indeed replace the Bible as the New Bible, at which point it will become known as simply "The Bible."

But pre-paid copies are going fast. Vice President Dick Cheney has already back-ordered one for every United States citizen in anticipation of a major corporate restructuring of the country.

So get yours today.

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